Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Waiting for Round 7

I admit I've been a bit moody all day and realized it's probably because I'm anticipating what will come with my next treatment; guess it's understandable; not looking forward to how it's going to make me feel.  I don't think the lack of sleep is helping with my mood either, I've tossed and turned waking in the wee hours of the night and not being able to fall back asleep until right before my alarm goes off.  Hmmm...let's see, what came first the chicken or the egg?  Am I moody and irritable about my next treatment which is disrupting my sleep or is my next treatment making me anxious and unable to sleep which is making me irritable and moody because I'm tired?  Am I making any sense right now?!?

My parents will arrive tomorrow to help me through my next treatment.  I can appreciate them wanting to take care of me but I don't think they realize how much it stresses me out, I feel like I have to worry about them being comfortable and having everything they need while they are here.  I know I won't have the energy to do much other than sleep most of the weekend and I won't even be able to do that comfortably knowing that they'll have questions about where things are or how things are done and when, etc.

The way I feel right this moment: I just want to disappear from this earth!
What I probably need right now: Sleep!  I think the lack of sleep is having a huge impact on not only my mood but my ability to think clearly.  Please pray that I get a restful night of sleep and we'll see what happens tomorrow.

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