I don't want to complain...

I know the last three days or so have only been about me complaining about how bad I feel but I really wish I didn't have to.  I'm sick and tired of being a complainer...

I woke up sore all over, it hurt to stand in the shower as the water felt like it was pelting me; it hurts to have clothes on!  I mustered all the energy and determination I had to make it into work, I don't know how I made it through the day.  I felt like I was in an out of body experience, working and thinking in slow motion.  I was surprised I made it through a full clinic today, my notes probably suck and there is probably a lot that is lacking but what can I say, I was determined to do what work I could--whether it'll be more work for someone else in the end or not I guess I'll have to live with that.

I definitely lack the luster and what everyone describes as my "peppiness" but I hope everyone understands that this is the effect of the chemo and not because I'm in a bad mood--you don't need to walk on egg shells around me.  I wasn't able to give hugs today because it hurts too much to be touched right now not because I was being cold.  I don't even have the energy to scream with frustration, just sigh--BIG SIGH!!!  How much longer do I have to feel this way?  SIGH!!  When will I start feeling even just a little bit better, I'm not asking for too much; just don't want to feel as bad as I do now--is that asking for too much?!  SIGH!!