Happy 2011

With only a few hours left in this first decade of the new millennium I wish everyone only the best in 2011; may your new year be filled with good health, more wealth and lots of joy and happiness!

Although 2010 may not have been my best year, I will never forget this year.  I have learned SO much not only about myself but about those around me--I have realized how many people truly love me and I have discovered the kindness and warmth of complete strangers, I have learned some hard lessons about life and have had to accept many disappointments.  I would like to think that through it all I am becoming a stronger and better person, prepared to deal with whatever awaits me in 2011!

Happy New Year!!:)

Exhausted and numb

There must be a new trend with my sleep habits.  Right after treatment, all I can do is sleep and the moment I start to feel better I begin to have interrupted nights of sleep.  The last couple of nights, since I started feeling better, I've been waking up at least once or more in the middle of the night; it always seems to be around the same times as well, usually around 2 and then again at 4; the night before last after waking at 4, I couldn't fall back asleep.  I think I was lucky to have gotten about 4 hours of sleep last night, I wish I could have an evening of at least 6-7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  These past 2-3 days of sleep deprivation are taking their toll on me, I'm so exhausted and feeling so tired has made me numb to a lot.  All I've done since I got home is sit on my couch not thinking about much or caring about anything.  The only thing going through my mind right now is whether or not I'll be able to sleep through the night without getting up to see the clock tell me it's 2 AM.  Hopefully I'm so exhausted I'll sleep like a log and actually have the alarm go off for the first time in 3 days.

Big sigh!

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try you cannot control your emotions and it never fails that those moments are the ones you will always regret.  And why is it so easy to lash out at your family; the ones that you are supposed to love the most and care about the most are always the ones to bear the brunt of all negative emotions?  I was obviously still very upset about things that came up over the weekend between my sisters and myself and I should have known better than to bring them up again knowing I was still emotional when one of my sisters called to check on me; I told myself I would be calm and try to explain things clearly so that there would be no misunderstanding but I'm sure after reading from the top of tonight's entry you can only imagine what transpired.  I should have just ended the initial telephone call with "work was fine, talk to you later;" but no, I had to bring up this past weekend--bad idea, like I said I knew deep down inside I was still emotionally charged and should have waited a couple of more days to think things through completely and have a clearer and more concise explanation of what was going through my head--um yeah, not so much.  I didn't think I had raised my voice or sounded upset, but according to a witness, I was yelling--really?  That was not my intention, I seriously was trying the best I could (at that moment) to be honest and open without coming off as being confrontational.  Well, we all know...the best laid plans of mice and men...

Happy Monday!

I am definitely feeling SO MUCH better compared to one week ago, even compared to just a couple of days ago.  Although I still feel like it's taking me a lot longer to get back to feeling like myself, the way I feel today beats what I felt like a week ago.

I'm already dreading the weekend because I will be on call.  I'm dreading it even more because I feel like I haven't had a single weekend to just enjoy while I'm close to 100%.  I'll get my next cycle of chemo next Friday and I think we all know what that weekend is going to be like--nothing to look forward to nor anything I'll enjoy.  It seems like it's taking longer to get over the fatigue, GI upset, etc and so I have a feeling I won't be enjoying the following weekend a whole lot either which just leads to yet another weekend of call followed by yet another cycle of chemo--YAY me!  Yes, yes...this too shall pass, it is only temporary...blah, blah, blah...and that's why you get to read about it on my blog because this is how I get to vent.

A few of my favorite things...

What a way to end this Christmas weekend--with a few of my favorite things!

I'm watching one of my most favorite movies while I write tonight's entry...The Sound of Music!!!
What better way to end this weekend?  I was so afraid I would not be up to enjoying Christmas but thanks to Sujin it was a fabulous weekend.  I was truly spoiled.  Sujin, Sam and Sugar Bear made sure I was waited on hand and foot, I didn't have to lift a finger for any of the hot meals or scrumptious desserts the last two days.  The original plan was to feast on an array of non-traditional foods for this Christmas, I had planned on making the only thing I can make fairly well--my Mexican casserole, unfortunately, I hadn't felt well enough to cook but Sujin came through in a big way.  She prepared not only the Mexican casserole but home made guacamole, lasagna, tilapia and fresh baked warm cookies and brownies!  Oh yes, how can I forget the yummy french toast and cheesy hash browns for breakfast--great job Sam!  There is no doubt in my mind that I've gained an extra 10 lbs just this weekend on top of the 15 lbs that I've gained since starting chemo.

We enjoyed two days of lounging in PJs watching movies and football.  We ventured out Christmas night to watch Gulliver's Travels.  The rest of the time, like I said was spent eating, drinking, eating more and watching lots of TV in our PJs!!  And of course we opened presents!!:)  I still can't decide which was my most favorite, all the Hello Kitty gifts, my Ugg slippers or the gallon of 11% alcohol Mad Elf Ale!:)  Thank you guys SO MUCH!!!

Yes, I will be going to bed tonight (still full from a weekend of pigging out) with a huge smile on my face! :D

Ho ho ho...

Merry Christmas!!!  All my love to all during this holiday season.  I know I could never get through this without all your prayers and well wishes!

I wish everyone a very happy and safe Christmas.

Remember...

I had a very important reminder today thanks to Nastaran!

I had been feeling so badly for almost a full week that I forgot what my goal is and should be...I am not undergoing chemotherapy and enduring all that comes with it including the bad days just to say I've been through it; I forgot about the big picture--I'm fighting to be cured and cancer free for the rest of my life!

I think I must be on the upswing because today was a little better than yesterday or at least that's the way I feel.  Although it took me an entire hour and several breaks during that hour, I actually got some dishes done.  To be able to have accomplished something other than just laying on the couch is a big deal.  I must be getting better, there's no way I could go any lower--I don't think.

Another reason I think I'm getting better is that I'm actually getting excited about Christmas again.  Tomorrow is the big day and I haven't felt very excited about the fact in a few days but this evening I'm actually smiling as I think of all joy and happiness tomorrow morning will bring especially to my little nieces and nephew in Alabama.  The thought of a possible white Christmas is even thrilling.  It is the most wonderful time of the year!!!

Another day...

of feeling less than stellar.  I had the energy to make it from my bed to the couch and that's all she wrote!  I am less sore all over but still don't have the energy to do much or want to do much.

My parents left for Alabama this morning, I had mixed emotions; glad to see that they would be spending Christmas with the grandkids but more importantly I get to be in my own space again.  I truly appreciated all they did while they were here but I'm sure many of you can imagine what's it's like to have to give up independence, privacy and autonomy.  I was able to actually JUST veg and do nothing else this morning once I dragged myself out of bed.  I got to lounge on my couch in peace and comfort--not that my parents wouldn't have let me do that but it's different when they are around.

I'm supposed to spend this weekend with Sujin but don't feel like bringing her and Sam down this Christmas.  I am quite happy just laying on my couch not thinking about or doing much and would hate to think that Sujin and Sam would have to entertain me or wait on me if I did spend the holidays at Su's.  I don't think being alone this Christmas would be particularly sad especially because all I want right now is to feel better and being at home regaining some strength and energy may be all I need.  I'm not in the mood to talk much or explain how it is I'm feeling exactly and what would make me feel better--to be honest I really don't know.

I don't want to complain...

I know the last three days or so have only been about me complaining about how bad I feel but I really wish I didn't have to.  I'm sick and tired of being a complainer...

I woke up sore all over, it hurt to stand in the shower as the water felt like it was pelting me; it hurts to have clothes on!  I mustered all the energy and determination I had to make it into work, I don't know how I made it through the day.  I felt like I was in an out of body experience, working and thinking in slow motion.  I was surprised I made it through a full clinic today, my notes probably suck and there is probably a lot that is lacking but what can I say, I was determined to do what work I could--whether it'll be more work for someone else in the end or not I guess I'll have to live with that.

I definitely lack the luster and what everyone describes as my "peppiness" but I hope everyone understands that this is the effect of the chemo and not because I'm in a bad mood--you don't need to walk on egg shells around me.  I wasn't able to give hugs today because it hurts too much to be touched right now not because I was being cold.  I don't even have the energy to scream with frustration, just sigh--BIG SIGH!!!  How much longer do I have to feel this way?  SIGH!!  When will I start feeling even just a little bit better, I'm not asking for too much; just don't want to feel as bad as I do now--is that asking for too much?!  SIGH!!

A new low.

I've definitely reached a new low.  Today was the first day I called out and didn't make it into work, and I'm not so sure how I'll feel tomorrow--it's very disappointing to me because I took so much pride in being able to work through my treatments; even if it wasn't for very long, I had always made it in.

I truly feel like s%@#!!  I am bloated and feel like a balloon; I don't know what's worse, the on going fatigue and exhaustion while feeling like my head is in a cloud or the constant horrible taste in my mouth that aggravates the irritation in my stomach because it limits what I want to eat and drink although I do it very often!  I get tired just getting up to get something to drink.  I'm exhausted trying to sit up and type this!

I'm feeling so down and defeated right now, just want to cry!!!!:'(  It doesn't mean I've given up, I'm just being honest about how I feel.  I know this is temporary and I'll get through it but I'm just telling you how I feel--like S%@#!!  I can't wait until I can say I'm on the upswing again.  I want to feel energetic and like myself again, able to appreciate cold water and a cup of coffee!

Uggg...it just sucks!

I can't even begin to describe how bad I feel right now, it's taking me a lot of energy and effort to get on and write today.  I seriously thought that two days ago I was feeling better than I had compared to right after my prior treatments but I spoke way too soon.  I feel more tired and nauseated than before.  The horrible taste in my mouth is the worse it's ever been, I can't bring myself to drink anything because it makes my nausea seem more intense with that horrible taste that continues to linger and won't go away no matter what I try to eat or chew.

I woke up teary eyed hating the way I felt but I was determined to make it into work and I did for a short 3.5 hours.  I saw two post op patients and called it quits.  I probably shouldn't have driven home but obviously wasn't thinking clearly--the only thing I could focus on was getting home and comfortable.

I'm glad my parents were here to let me just collapse and not worry about anything.  They have answered every beck and call without delay and I feel bad that I have to rely on them.  I really thought this time it was going to be easier for me, I thought my body was getting used to the effects of chemo but it must be true that some of the effects are definitely cumulative.

I don't want anybody's pity or sympathy, I just don't want to feel the way I do right now.  I truly wished people telling me "hope you feel better" or "feel better soon" really worked.  I don't mean to be crude or unappreciative of all those around me that worry and only wish me the best but sometimes it just helps not to say anything!

Half way point!

It's official, I'm half way through my chemotherapy treatments as of 5pm yesterday.  YAY!!!

My treatment yesterday was extra special, not only because I knew by the end of the day I would be half way through my treatments but I also had a good friend take time out of her day off to come keep me company as I sat through the 6 hour infusion.  Yulia, thank you again for your company and for ALL the special treats; the flowers are beautiful and have brightened up my apartment, the lunch was delicious and I still can't get over the variety of things you picked up but most of all my Christmas ornament--I love it, especially the long eyelashes on that reindeer!

I felt alright right after my treatment and came home feeling tired but was completely wiped out the rest of the evening not even having the energy to remove my makeup or brush my teeth.  I woke up after having slept at least 12 hours and felt better than I've felt after my previous treatments.  Maybe my body is getting used to what chemo can do to me or maybe it's the gross tasting ginseng concoction my parents have forced me to start drinking--thanks to the research by Eastern Medicine, I'm not even sure what the research showed and how it relates to helping cancer patients but I just don't have the energy to fight my parents' insistence!  I did make it clear that I was planning on OK'ing this with my Oncologist before I continued drinking the nasty potion.  All I know is that I have actually been able to sit and not fall asleep today and haven't had as much stomach irritation--I haven't even had to take a Zofran all day!

Even though I'm tolerating my treatments well, I've developed a few more side effects-- the first is Taxotere nails, my nails are turning black--it will likely get worse before it gets better and there may be a chance I can even loose them if things get bad but I'm hoping it won't get to that point.  I've developed some neuropathy as well but it's a bit strange as it only effects one or two toes--don't know what to make of that and neither does my Oncologist.  More worrisome is that I'm getting anemic and had a 4 point drop in my hematocrit acutely.  We'll be watching this but hope I remain asymptomatic and blood counts remain stable.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, I know I will with my parents spoiling me!  Now back to vegging!

Ready for Round 7

Tomorrow at 11AM I will begin another course of a 6 hour infusion that starts out with aggressive IV hydration.  I'm ready and know what to expect, I will not work through my next infusion; I have chosen to allow my pre-medications to take full effect and sleep through my infusion instead of trying to work through it, like I did during my second course.  I will have some company during the first couple of hours which I am looking forward to, Yulia is off tomorrow and has offered to visit with me and even bring me lunch (lucky me!:)) while I get my IV fluids.

I plan to take full advantage of my last day of feeling energetic and more like myself than after a treatment. I will head out to Target to do some last minute X-mas shopping in a few minutes--their holiday hours keep them open until 12 midnight.  I expect it to be kinda quiet as we got about an inch of snow and it has gotten quite frigid.  I don't think there will be many people venturing out to finish their shopping on a night like tonight.  Hahaha, I hope I'm right about this or I may regret getting on the icy roads only to find empty shelves and fight long lines.  I'm happy to say that I'll have help from my parents who will drive me in their heavy duty 4 x 4; my dad is of course is an awesome driver with tons of experience driving in the snow--he is from Canada!

After tomorrow, I will have completed half of my chemo treatments!!!  Yay me! :)  It's kinda bitter sweet, although it's going faster than I expected, I'm scared to find 2011 right around the corner.  I had so looked forward to 2010 back in 2009; I really thought this past year was going to be MY year--it is the year of the tiger, but somehow, someway it didn't turn out the way I expected.  For 2011, I have no expectations; I'll take things as they come, I only hope that at the end of next year I'll be able to say that the year was way better than I expected!

Sleep PLEASE!!!

Last night was another night of waking just about every hour.  I've gotten up without the alarm ever going off the last 2-3 days because I'm already awake!:(  I need my beauty sleep before I can reveal my new hairy accessory.  I think I prefer my lighter addition, my parents seem to as well.  They arrived today and commented on how well the lighter wig complimented my complexion!  Now I have named my new wig Oliver but not many people seem to approve; OK I need some suggestions--please and thank you!!!

It's gotten way too cold here and there are rumors it may snow an inch tomorrow and Saturday, I guess I have no choice but to stay in and sleep all weekend; it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'll have had my third treatment but all to do with the weather--darn winter!

Waiting for Round 7

I admit I've been a bit moody all day and realized it's probably because I'm anticipating what will come with my next treatment; guess it's understandable; not looking forward to how it's going to make me feel.  I don't think the lack of sleep is helping with my mood either, I've tossed and turned waking in the wee hours of the night and not being able to fall back asleep until right before my alarm goes off.  Hmmm...let's see, what came first the chicken or the egg?  Am I moody and irritable about my next treatment which is disrupting my sleep or is my next treatment making me anxious and unable to sleep which is making me irritable and moody because I'm tired?  Am I making any sense right now?!?

My parents will arrive tomorrow to help me through my next treatment.  I can appreciate them wanting to take care of me but I don't think they realize how much it stresses me out, I feel like I have to worry about them being comfortable and having everything they need while they are here.  I know I won't have the energy to do much other than sleep most of the weekend and I won't even be able to do that comfortably knowing that they'll have questions about where things are or how things are done and when, etc.

The way I feel right this moment: I just want to disappear from this earth!
What I probably need right now: Sleep!  I think the lack of sleep is having a huge impact on not only my mood but my ability to think clearly.  Please pray that I get a restful night of sleep and we'll see what happens tomorrow.

The start of yet another week.

Yes, it's Monday again; the start of another work week.  It certainly did not feel like a typical Monday, whether it's because we were down on manpower or because I'm anticipating a lighter work schedule with the holidays approaching...I don't know what it was but it was a weird day, I can't even begin to explain.  Just glad it's over.  I spent most of the day in the OR, quite a change from what I've been used to the last few weeks.  It felt good to be out of the office and actually participating in more than just clinic or mundane office work, now that I've had a chance to spend some time out of the office I don't want to go back; but after Friday I'll have no choice as I will have had my third cycle of chemo and will be feeling too weak and fatigued to be working anywhere else.

Christine and Mary--I hope you made it back home safely!  Glad we got to spend time together, hope we get to stuff our faces with Korean food and then go to Karaoke again soon!:)

Singing the night away!

It's been too long since I've been Karaoke-ing!  

My call Sunday was not bad at all, my pager remained silent all day.  I even got to do some shopping for baked goods to take into the OR and nurses on the Oncology floor.  Earlier this evening I stopped by to have my newest hairy accessory trimmed and prepared for her big debut!  Yes the big unveiling will happen soon.  Following the quick beauty fix, I got to enjoy a bountiful Korean dinner with some of my most favorite peeps including my cousin Christine who is snowed in and couldn't get back to Boston this evening from DC.  Well, we ate so much of course we had to go sing to help with digestion!  The small Karaoke singing room was filled with 5 Koreans, 2 Caucasians and 1 Indian--what a combo, we sang quite an array of songs from '80s Korean pop songs to 50 Cents; and for the finale...wait for it...Barbie Song!

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world--now going to bed!:)

Another Saturday of call

Murphy's law reigns again; I thought this weekend would be a quiet call weekend since we only have a whopping 2 patients in the hospital right now, but of course they have to be 2 very active (active with issues that is) patients.  Yes, so active I had to make a second trip into the hospital today after having left for the day following morning rounds.  My pager remained active most of the day thanks to this one patient.  I had hoped to take a nap and maybe even make it into DC to meet up with my cousin Christine who is there from Boston this weekend but nope, had to go back to the hospital!!!  Yay me and my weekend of call!

Well, I finished in time to run a couple of errands with the company of my friend Sandy who is also on call this weekend.  We made it up to Wegmans where I scored free cake boards (the thick pieces of cardboard that cakes lay on in the box) for boxes of goodies I plan to put together and take in for the OR staff and the nurses on the Oncology floor and of course the outpatient chemo nurses as Christmas greetings.  Then we decided to look for some warm PJs as it has gotten SO cold here now.  Enjoyed dinner at Jessie Wong's although the service was really bad.  Plan to enjoy a movie and some wine if we can stay awake but I have a feeling we'll most likely fall asleep as soon as we sit in front of the TV as we have both worked pretty hard on call.

Tis the season!

So it is that time of year that the office holiday parties are held--yay!  Isn't it enough that you spend all day at work and then you have to spend more time after hours "celebrating" Christmas cheer with a few you are indifferent to, others that you would rather spend time with alone and then still those who you could care less if you saw at all--yes, crude but honest!  I'm really not trying to be a Scrooge but this is my weekend of call and I could use the evening hours doing what I want to do.  Unfortunately, if I hadn't of shown up at the X-mas party it would have been bad since I was the one who had originally proposed that we have a party!

It was quite disturbing to find out that last year there was no Holiday party AT ALL.  Can you believe that?!  Well, I was determined that this year, Christmas would not go uncelebrated!!!  I planned and organized a pot luck lunch and dirty Santa; well, wouldn't you know that the big boss decided he would be generous and offer to host the holiday party at his place in the evening after work.  Well, since I was the one who had originally proposed the whole idea to begin with, even though I REALLY didn't want to go, I felt guilty about not going.  It took all the energy I had left in me to show up for about an hour and a half to mingle a bit with everyone and then see dirty Santa through--it ended up being a good turnout and I think people enjoyed dirty Santa.  I came away with Appleton's Jamaican Rum!!!

I am glad I ended up going but to be completely honest could have used the time to do what I really wanted to do tonight which was to enjoy some wine (probably a little more than I really needed) alone and sleep until late tomorrow morning only to have to wake up to round at 10AM.  Like I said, not trying to be a Scrooge, but bah humbug!!

Too old!

I am so exhausted, I'm no spring chicken anymore!  Have been having to get to work early this week and have woken up every day at around 5 am, it hasn't helped that I've had a few nights of tossing and turning or waking in the middle of the night unable to fall back asleep.  Then yesterday (thanks to Sandy) I went to bed way past my bed time because I was rocking it with Usher all night!!  Like I said, I'm no longer a spring chicken--I need sleep!  I'm not sure how much sleep I'll make up this weekend as I am on call and decided to make plans to possibly go Karaoke Sunday night.  Well, I guess I can make up the lost sleep after my next treatment because I know for a couple of days all I'll want to do is sleep!!

OMG...Usher!

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Usher in concert

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Getting what I want!

So after feeling down about the limitations that were put on me at work, I decided that I was going to prove the doubters wrong.  I think I have learned what my limits are and am capable of telling if and when I am too fatigued or tired to do certain things like assist in surgery--I made this very clear at work--I first assisted in a 5 hour case my last weekend of call for goodness sakes!!!!  And you think I'm too weak or unfit to be in the OR?!  Really?!?  I think I'll be able to do more of what I want now, and after New Years I will not take every 3 week call--why should I be the only one doing that, I am dumb for agreeing to do it this month--I blame it on my chemo brain!!

Lucky me gets to go see Usher in concert tomorrow night at the 1st Mariner Arena.  I'm not sure whether to thank my friend Sandy or curse her for getting us tickets, I'll let you know Thursday.  This should be interesting, I'm curious to see who and what comes out to see Usher; I'm sure the two of us will stand out like sore thumbs, maybe because we're older or more likely because we'll be very tame--in all aspects!  Can't wait to see what I'll have to write about after tomorrow night!

Not fair!

It's nothing new but life can be unfair at times, especially when we don't get our way!  I'm finding myself sad and bitter about a lot of things that are happening at work that seem so unfair.  I know it is because there are people who think they are protecting me, like one of my surgeons who will not allow me to scrub into any cases in the OR--he sought my Medical Oncologist to talk to me about staying out of the OR!!  How about being stuck in the office day after day after day for weeks feeling isolated from the rest of the world at times.  And I don't know why I agreed to take call every 3 weeks because that's when I feel my best--why was I so stupid?!

I guess a lot of this has been bothering me for a while but it just never made me feel as depressed as today.  This morning was the first time I actually didn't want to go to work, I didn't even feel this way on the days I felt worse after treatment.  I wish there were things that could be different at work, it always sucks when you can't have your way.  I guess I should feel some comfort in knowing that this is temporary and this too shall pass but it still doesn't change the fact that it sucks.

Busy day

Woke up feeling better.  Good thing since I had quite a few errands to run before making it to the Nut Cracker which was a delight.  I made it back in time for the SEC Championship game, was hoping South Carolina would beat the Auburn Tigers but I sit here bitter that Auburn will fight for the National Championship against Oregon.

I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with Christmas just around the corner.  I've made lists and checked them twice but still don't know when I'll get all my Christmas prep work done.  As far as we've come with the cyber world and internet shopping, believe it or not but there are still things that CANNOT be purchased online!!  Who would have thought?!  I surely did not, now I actually have to go to a mall--errr, I hate holiday traffic and crowds.  So if you don't receive anything for Christmas, it's on its way as soon as it's available online!:)

Ready for the weekend

Tossed and turned most of the night and fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning only to be startled awake by my alarm!:(  Is it winter already?  The temperatures have gotten SO cold it was painful getting out of bed from under my warm covers.  I still did pretty well at work and felt good considering my lack of beauty sleep.

Came home to a noise filled apartment thanks to my aging parents who always seem to have the volume to anything and everything up to the max.  Unfortunately I missed a visit from Yulia and her little girl who I had been wanting to meet--didn't hear my door bell because of all the noise and commotion of my parents filling me in about their day, or more like how difficult it was cleaning my place thanks to all of the junk I have laying around (most of it belongs to Vicky--darn jack-o-lanterns!!)

Have a full weekend planned with the Nut Cracker tomorrow but feeling like I may be coming down with a cold.  I really hope a good night's sleep will make me feel a lot better and refreshed, last thing I need is to regress especially when I thought I was getting over my last treatment so quickly.

On the upswing!

Another good day, I must be on the upswing!  YAY!!  I hope this continues, other than a bit of stomach irritation and things still not tasting right I am feeling so much better yet again today.

My parents arrived earlier this evening from Alabama on their way back home to Canada, they will stay the weekend and head North early Monday morning.  My small apartment seems even smaller with 2 additional adults inhabiting the quarters.  I am excited about the early Christmas gifts they have brought with them like my new vacuum and favorite bottle of red wine (not that I can truly enjoy that right now--but looking forward to when I can!).  I guess this weekend will be filled with quality parent time--lucky me!

I feel good...

Happy day!!!  Today was surprisingly a good day.  I tossed and turned overnight waking up at 1 am and then again at 3:30 am and finally at 5:30 I decided to just get up.  Even with a night of interrupted sleep I felt really good today, much better than the last two days.  The wet and windy weather didn't even faze me!

I lasted through a full day of clinic without much disruption from an upset stomach or fatigue, I did experience some hot flashes but for someone who is always complaining that it's cold it was worth experiencing.  I'm hoping the number of days of feeling really bad after chemo will dwindle with every treatment, I think after my first treatment I felt pretty beat up for close to 2 weeks but I'm hoping this past week will be the end of feeling blah!  Maybe next time I'll only feel bad for a few days--a girl can hope!