Glamorous Me

I don't think I've been this sad or disappointed like I am today since I started this blog--and all because of a comment someone made, which was likely out of frustration and without any thought at all but it was still very disturbing to me.  In the midst of a rant and rave of how life sucks for a certain someone, they made the comment: "I would rather be you right now."  How horrible could this person's life be at this time to wish they could have breast cancer?!  I didn't know whether to feel pity or anger, I was speechless.  Yes, we've all heard the grass is always greener on the other side--but really!?!  Does my grass seem that much greener right now?  I would really like to know what it is in this person's life that makes scars, an ugly port, trunkal numbness and lymphedema, nausea, cystitis and fatigue so glamorous!

I'm learning so many things through my journey.  I've already learned that I have many physical limitations.  I know that I've only been through one treatment, yet my body is feeling the full effects and to think that this may only get worse and not better.  I know that I must take it day by day and try not to over do things. I only hope that my body will allow me to get up every morning and make it into work each day if only for a couple of hours; more importantly, I hope my body will co-operate enough to allow me to take care of myself without concerning others.  Other things I'm learning--I need to eat every few hours to keep from getting really sick and run down, I have to take breaks between big tasks even getting ready in the morning, I need to stay well hydrated.

The most important lesson of all--NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE, it only leads to disappointment.  I think the reason I was so saddened and disappointed by the comment above was because I EXPECTED a lot more from that person.  I should have never thought that I would receive mutual respect, consideration and understanding.  To be completely honest, I don't even know if this person realizes what they said or have done; either way, I truly hope that life gets better for this person.  I hope they are able to find the peace they need to move forward in life and please grant them some wisdom and grace.  As for me, I know I'll get over it--hey, it's a huge complement--who else could make someone want breast cancer?!  YAY ME!!:)