Mixed emotions

I'm finding myself unbelievably conflicted; on one hand I'm elated that on Friday I will be receiving my second to last treatment, yet on the other hand I'm terribly anxious and extremely sad because with my next treatment I know I am going to feel miserable for what to me will feel like an eternity.  I want to cry tears of joy because I am going to be very VERY close to the end of this torturous journey but right now I think I'm closer to sobbing for fear of what I know is coming and anguish because I don't want to go through the next week to 10 days.  I wish I could fast forward through the next few months and be done with it all, wouldn't life be grand if we could navigate our way through life that way; I guess while I'm at it I should just rewind and never have gotten breast cancer to begin!